My story in poem

Here is my story in poem form.
It is broken down into four parts, all are included in this one post.

Part 1

College was my chance
To try life on for size
But nothing seemed to fit
No matter what I tried

Swim team and recycling club
Psychology my degree
Dead head buds
Parties and clubs
Yet none could satisfy me

Then one day I thought
That could bring me peace
I haven’t been in years
Maybe it has the answers that I seek.

In the library with my roommate
I asked if I could go
“Of course!” she exclaimed
Like she was in the know

As I walked in the doors
I was greeted cheerfully
MANY hugs and welcomes
(A bit too much for me)

When the music started
I looked for the hymnal
But the words were on the screen
I thought, “how environmental.”

On and on he droned
Just like I remembered
Wished I could leave
But a polite guest I surrendered

I looked all around
Knowing I would see
Other faces of boredom
Dreading just like me

But to my surprise
The faces that I saw
Were listening intently
I scratched my head in awe

When we finally left
And I had time to mull
The message meant nothing
In fact it was quite dull

What did stick in my mind
Were all the faces in the pews
They wanted to be there
To them it was good news

I asked my roommates why
What made them want to stay
What did they know
That drew them to church that day

“A personal relationship with God”
I was told –
That was their gold mine
A treasure of true joy
Cool! Where do I sign?

Just say this prayer
Repeat after me
“Jesus I believe
That you died for me.”

“Do I have to say it?”
Was my plea
I just want to know God

The name of Jesus
I couldn’t say.
Stuck in my mouth
my tongue won’t obey

The name of Jesus
Weighed heavy on me
“But why?” I wondered
It’s just a name
It’s nothing to me.

So I forced myself
To pray their prayer
They gleefully modeled for me
“Saved!” they said I was now
For all eternity.

Saved from what
I did not know
So off to bed I went
Pondering in confusion
What any of it meant

Part 2

When I woke the next day
It felt like any other
“Did I do my homework?”
Was all my mind did wonder

Until I opened my door
And at once saw the note
“Welcome to the family!”
Was what my roommate wrote

“#%&*. Now I’ve done it.”
Was my first thought
They won’t stop now
So I prepared for the onslaught

First they gave me a Bible
Which I did not mind
I opened it up and found
Parts they had underlined

But then invitations did follow
One after the other.
“How do I get out of this?”
My heavy heart did wonder

Reading the Bible alone
Was all that I had planned
Their corny Christian group
Would not become part
Of my campus clan!

“No thank you.” Wasn’t enough
To make them go away
But when asked to a Christmas party
I found my heart did sway.

“What could it hurt?”
It’s just a party.
But when I walked in
My mind changed sharply

Pats on the back
And, “Congratulations!”
“Welcome new sister!”
Oh my, what have I done?

Then once again
I looked for a way out
But then the singing began
I’d just have to wait it out

They handed me a song sheet
With Christmas carols of old
The songs were very familiar
So I grew less cold

But what happened next
I could never have foreseen
When I opened my mouth to sing
Nothing but tears did stream

There was something different this time
About these Christmas carols
They weren’t just words anymore
With old familiar heralds.

“Why am I crying?”
I thought to myself
I’ve sang these songs for years
They have no reason
To bring me to tears

I left still in the dark
Of why I did cry
“This is nonsense.” I thought
I’ll give it another try

To another party I went
The very next week
Just to prove to myself
This is not the answer I seek

But it happened again
The words stuck in my throat
I could not sing
Not one little note

My cheeks were all wet
I tried to hide it well
But they all knew
That soon I’d have a story to tell

But to me I was still in a daze
And soo glad for winter break
If for nothing else
Than to get away from their gaze.

Off to Florida I went
Where my mom had just moved
I knew no one at all
So I just laid by the pool

I had nothing to do
For three weeks straight
So I opened the Bible
To begin my debate

Part 3

Pages written by man
Is all the Bible could be
The very words of God
Was an impossibility

I read the book of John
And was filled with questions
I wrote them all down
To begin my phone discussions

At the same time I prayed
And asked God to reveal
If this indeed was His Word
Or just a human appeal

With some things I agreed
Others I said “NO WAY!”
But God was becoming more real
Each and every day

How it did happen
I cannot explain
By the end of three weeks
My heart completely changed

I wanted to know more
But on my own terms
I came back to school
Hungry to learn

I attended their group
And was wary of some
Jesus t-shirts and crosses
One of them – I will not become

But others were ‘normal’
They dressed just like me
Intelligent and thoughtful
Yet loved God passionately

Each week I went
Yet still reading at home
Surer every day
That I was now not alone

A loving God I began to see
Believing He should want me
After all, I was a good person
Not quite Mother Theresa
But never once in prison

I had yet to find out
There lay a chasm between
The Holiness of God
And little ‘ole me

Cross it I did try
Thinking it easy for me
Yet no bridge I built
Could take me across that vast, vast sea

Despair began to set in
Thinking my quest to know God was for naught
And then came that Name
The one that I earlier fought

“Jesus is the way!”
They all told me
He HIMSELF is the bridge
He’ll take you all the way

Part 4

Jesus was a great teacher
That was plain to see
I tried to emulate Him
With every part of me

But the more I strived
To be like Him
The clearer I saw
I really did have sin within

Show love to my roommates
ALL of the time?
Even the one
Who makes me loose my mind?

It didn’t take long
Before I could see
Trying to be like Jesus
Was an impossibility
(Even for the “good ones”
I thought myself to be)

I finally admitted
My efforts were futile
No one alive
Can earn His approval

But that’s why He came
Because we canNOT achieve
The perfection it takes
To earn a reprieve

When Jesus walked on the earth
He did so flawlessly
Unlike no one before
Not one in history

So when He willingly went
Upon the cross that day
It was more than a symbol
He literally made a way

He hung on that tree
Having done nothing wrong
He took the wrath of God
That to me really belonged

God turned His face away
From His one and only Son
Poured on Him OUR punishment
For everything we did wrong

I understood now
What I must do
Confess my sins to God
(Though He already knew)

I asked for forgiveness
For what I had done
Acknowledged I was a sinner
And He the Holy One.

Freely He gave
Forgiveness to me
Called me His child
For all eternity

The great exchange
Had been done
He took all my sin
I would owe Him for none

His perfection He gave me
And bid me to come
Into His holy presence
So we could be one

Heaven is now guaranteed
At my final hour
But until then
I have all His power

As I walk on this earth
From this day on
His Spirit will live in me
Giving gifts to draw upon

That is the story
Of how I came to believe
That Jesus is
My Lord
My Savior
My Friend
To whom I’ll forever cleave

My prayer is now
For you all to see
That He loves you too
This isn’t just for me

So if you were once like me
Thinking this a fantasy
Ask God yourself
If this is at all a reality

Pick up a Bible
I promise it won’t bite
Open to the book of John
And see if there’s insight

Into the claims of this Jesus
Is He God or just a man
Ask Him to show you
And see where you land

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